Documentry
by darrenshanfan
Summary: AU. Implied yaoi. The antics of Tifa and Cloud in highschool, with a camera. The world is doomed.


Disclaimer : I don't own anyone connected to FF7 or KH or KH2. And I don't own Micheal Jackson. I do however own persons 1 and 2.

"What are you two doing?"

"Making a documentary for that contest."

"The 'Make A Documentary On What Ever You Like' one?"

"Yeah that's it."

"Why are **you** here Axel-ducky and Roxus-ducky?"

"We were hanging out with the advent kids,"

"And Zak, and Sora, and Kairi..."

"Yeesh,"

"Ahh yes, the illusive Zak-monkey does tend to attract other rare animals, including the the Sora-puppy and Kairi-kitty..."

"But the super rare barely ever seen out of their natural habitat advent-bunnies, you were lucky to see them."

"A full herd of them too."

"Herd?"

"Advent-bunnies travel in herds. They always have leader bunny..."

"In this case Sephy-bunny,"

"They have a couple of loner bunny..."

"Riku-bunny,"

"And few others who really aren't that important."

"**CLOUD!**" "-birdy" "Don't be rude!"

"Uh huh."

"Thats' all fine and dandy but why are you filming all our friends?"

"And for that matter why are you adding types of animals to the ends of our names?"

"The documentery, remember?"

"It's a nature show. The school is the habitat and the students are the wild life."

"But why am I a duck?!"

"It suits you!"

"Be honest your doing this to get back at someone for something. Most likely Zak or Vincent."

"True, but we are trying to win the contest. Annoying and humiliating Vincent-beast and Zak-monkey is just a bonus."

"A duck?!"

"Shut up! Anyway what are you two then?"

"We are Cloud-birdy..."

"And Tifa-birdy!"

"Aren't you the documenterists though?"

"Shouldn't you be off screen, and supposed to be human as far as the audionce is concerned?"

"So what does that matter?"

"I give up..."

"Duck!"

"**Be quiet!!!!**"

"Oh all right. Bloody gits, think there so smart, why I aughta..."

"We'll be going now... oh and by the way you now owe my theropist 3000 dollars."

"Why us?"

"You have a theropist and you never told me? Hey why are you walking away, Roxas...!"

"Okay moving on, let us watch the Vincent-beast stalks it's prefured mate, the Zak-monkey. Watch the Vincent-beast as it see the Zak-monkey's current teritory."

"Stalks is an understatement, he's practically always following him."

"That's what stalking means."

"Oh."

"Hello!"

"Hi!"

"Hey!"

"What to you to want?"

"Cloud-birdy be nice, what do you three need Namine-kitty, Aeris-kitty and Yuffie-snakey?"

"Namine-kitty...?"

"Aeris-kitty?"

"Yuffie-**snakey**!?"

"Never mind what makes you think we need something?"

"You're here aren't you?"

"WHACK, sorry about him go on."

"Well we just wanted to know if there are any days we shouldn't come in this week?"

"We would also kinda want to know why Cloud is so cranky."

"And if it has anything to do with the prank Vincent pulled on you to last week."

"That's the reason we asked the first question."

"Ah no, this has absolutely nothing to do with Vincent-beast's horrible prank that left most of the school traumatised and us scandalized, uh huh."

"You realize you just answered all of our questions with that one statement?"

"Damn."

"I'll say."

"Yuffie aren't you on our side?"

"Side what side?"

"Nothing Tifa."

"Whatever you say Namine-kitty."

"Anyways on the origonal topic..."

"-We had an origonal topic?"

"Yes but you weren't apart of it 'birdy'."

"Hey!"

"Says who?"

"Says the amazing, beautiful, wonderful and incredibly intelligent, Aeris!"

"-kitty..."

"With a huge head..."

"Yuffie! Some friend you are!"

"After they years we spent in our childhood as friends!"

"Namine we only met at the start of this year."

"That's what you think..."

"That is what I think!"

"You think?"

"**Yuffie!**"

"Yuffie-snake come join our group!"

"We have cookies!"

"Cookies...?"

"And Leon-puppy is sort of helping us."

"Leon?"

"NO! She's with us! Goodbye!"

"But Leon! And cookies!"

"Bye bye!... Hey Tifa-birdy am I the only one who thinks our schoolmates are a little strange in the head. Particuley those three?"

"You mean the good kind of strange or the demented, scary kind of strange?"

"The demented, scary type."

"Yeah they are. Good thing we're exempt from the oddness."

"**NO YOU AREN'T!!!**"

"Did every person in the school just yell at us?"

"I think they did, Cloud-birdy. Even Loz-bunny!"

"Oh, thats mean."

"I bet they'll get no presents from Santa this year."

"POOF"

"You two still belive in Santa?"

"Everyone knows he's not real!"

"He's just a made up character."

"Who was designed by parents to control little childrens minds."

"Like Micheal Jackson."

"**Shush!!!!** He is too real! And if he hears you speaking like that he'll put you on the noughty list!"

"Like Sephy-bunny over there!"

"...Who are you two anyway? I've never seen you before. Have you Tifa-birdy?"

"Uh uh, Cloud-birdy."

"And you will probably never will again."

"If your lucky."

"Which considering who you are and who your going to annoy with that video, isn't all that likely."

"Goodbye."

"Ditto."

"BLING"

"Did they just disapear in front of us in a show of pretty lights that made no sounds except the word, 'Bling'?"

"Yes."

"WELL... that was pointless."

"So is this fic."

"True, too true."


End file.
